And now, one of the two I'm eager to grade.
Let's begin, shall we?
Grammar:
-Hoho. Story Team worthy. Need I say more?
Storyline:
-Grading on Complete in Him.
-Y'know, your story just reminds me of my middle school life :P
-Sorry, back to grading lol. Anyway, your names are a bit cliche :P
-Love your style. No really, I do.
-Your story's pretty short, not much to grade on. However, I know you have talent.
Suspense:
-I don't know why, but something about your style urges me to keep reading.
Conclusion:
All in all, I like your style. However, with only one chapter (a bit short), I cannot accept. I expect a chapter or two next time. You'll definitely get accepted. Keep trying!